Trinket thoughts.

I was clearing out my cupboard today. I found my box of bead strings. It is a rectangular box made of plastic, the translucent kind. The deceiving kind, that looks perfect from the outside but on the inside, is a whole different story. So this box too, looked fine from the outside. But inside it, my bead strings were all knotted up, intertwined and jumbled.
This box was labelled "earrings". Ha. It reminded my of that song "Shimmer" - by Fuel .
"And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label "

I've had them all my life. I know each bead of each string very well. There are some from the hippies near beaches and temples, some that are gifts from friends and a few that I strung myself.

There are red shiny ones - too 'bling' for everyday life, but can liven up a grey outfit on any given day. This one is actually a Christmas tree tinsel,but it serves the purpose pretty well
There is a string made of sea shells - very pretty on the outside, but equally empty and hollow on the inside.
The big black ones that look perfect and shiny from afar, but if you go closer you notice the scratches and blemishes.
The one with the big purple 'heart' shaped beads - that I've never worn, but keep because they are so lovely..

There are tiny delicate ones , funky - chunky ones beads in every possible color you can think of. Beads made of plastic,metal,clay and glass.
Each one different from the other and yet serving the same purpose.

As I try to untangle them, they get more intertwined. I am afraid to tug too hard , for I know that they'll break. I know , for I have a few loose beads in the box too - few for every string that broke. I keep them because I can't let them go. I hold on to them and the memories they hold within. Just maybe I'll find the right string someday and other beads, and string them back together. Maybe I will.

I could find a better way of keeping them. Maybe I could separate them and but them into smaller boxes. Or find a nail and hand them by it.Maybe I could.

As I buy new ones, I just them add them to the box. They are treated no differently than the others. But lately, my box has been filling up. I don't have space left for new strings anymore - it is getting too cluttered in there. Maybe I should throw some of the old ones away to make space for the new. Or maybe I should just find a bigger box. Maybe I should.

As the untangling process gets too tiresome, I get fed up. I put them all back into the box. They may not be untangled and separated. But at least they are all in there, all in one place. All mine. My bead strings - that I wear very close to my heart.

appa

Yeah I know its been long since I've blogged . I'm not sorry. I didn't promise anything. A lot has happened since I last posted. People have entered and left my life. Close ones have moved away and strangers have become soul-mates. I've made decisions, mistakes, peace and what not. I've learnt new things I never thought I could, stopped doing things I thought I always would do.But then change is the only thing that doesn't change in life, they say. And like it or not, you have to accept it.
I am writing today, because, after a long time I felt like putting my thoughts into text and not poetry. This morning, when I was taking a shower, I heard my neighbor from the first floor wake his son up. And suddenly memories of my dad waking me up rushed into my head. I remember how irritating it used to be, to hear his voice every morning. I simply am not and have never been a morning person. What used to make me cringe before, now makes me cry. I miss the care and concern not to forget the sweet scoldings. I miss the 'appa' smell. A mixture of viboothi, tulsi and something very fatherly. He used to bring me coffee, tie my shoelace, fill my water bottle and carry my bag to the auto. How I miss being pampered.I used to be his baby, we went shopping and for movies together. Funny thing is you never know that its all going to end really soon. I always thought he'd be there when I got my board exam results, when I got my first poem published in a book, when I wore my first sari, when I went to college, got my license...
All these things have happened but he wasn't there. He isn't going to be there when I graduate or on the first day of my job either. Nor will he be there when I get married or give birth.
Change is the only thing that doesn't change about life they say. And like it or not, you have to accept it.

"Driving" me crazy

I'm learning to drive. And I'm surprisingly pretty decent at it. I’ve gone only for 8 days or so and I can almost drive on road filled with traffic on my own. But there are some things about driving that you realise only if you are in the driver's seat. Quite literally- in this case.
For instance, how irritating it is when people just cross the road according to their whims and fancies. You have no clue if they are going to or not. They just come and stand there, almost in the middle of the road and stare at you. I'm surprised I haven't knocked anyone over yet. Hello?. Zebra crossing people. heard of it? Probably not. No one follows rules in India. Of any kind. And especially not of the road. There are hardly any roads, let alone road signs or zebra crossings. I used to be one of those people too. Who used to just randomly cross roads. Now I don't though, I'm more sympathetic to the plight of the person behind the wheel.
I haven't let learnt to pick up my vehicle once I stop at a signal. Result?. Knock you in the head, make you bone jump out of your skin kind HONKING.I have an "L" board ok? I am learning. So why can't people just get that and go on the side. But no, some joy they get out of honking the hell out of their cars.
And there are things and people who are distractions without even realizing it themselves. Like that aunty who is sitting at the back of the scooter in the front. She is wearing a low back and candy pink outfit. And she isn’t exactly "model" figured ok. Its is just bloody distracting. And that old guy in the front who simply refuses to hear the horn and go on the sidewalk. That cute little pug going for its morning walk. That taxi driver who'll insist on following you around and honking at every possible opportunity. The list is endless.

Cosequence?.good driver or not, I've sure become a good curser(already
y)...

all the people in the world

First days at schools or classes turn most people into a nervous wreck. Not me. I have lots of fun "people watching”. Its interesting observing the different kinds of people. I try not to judge by appearance, but its so hard not to. Here are some of the usual categories

1. The bunch of short skirts and cleavage(well whatever little they have) showing top wearing girls. You know the kinds who carry those bags big enough to kidnap babies in. Wear only branded clothes. They ones who greet each other with high pitched and absolutely fake "hiiiiiiii" often accompanied by a put on accent. These girls talk only those who look like them.

2. Some genuinely sweet girls who actually smile at you and try to make friends. This is a very rare species. And these are not to be mistaken for those who find out your name and school only so that they can either make fun of you/your school or talk about the same behind your back.

3. The ones who are already pouring over their books. Either preparing for class or (god forbid) revising what they've already prepared. They are mostly bespectacled; hair oiled and combed, ‘wearing what their mom asked them to’ kinds. These are better to be left on their own . Try to make conversation and you are most likely to get told off for 'wasting' their time.


4. The phone or i-pod junkies who are perpetually texting or talking to someone. They will often be so absorbed in their activity that they won't even realise it when class begins and sometimes even ends. They are the ones who are better off in their bedroom.

5. The spiked hair, football jersey wearing guys. They'll walk in few minutes after class begins and will stride around like they've entered the locker room after a match, directly head to the last bench and put on a bored expression that'll be the only one you see throughout the class.

And there are some who can be put into the miscellaneous category. Polite ones, the cursers(at a rate of 5 curse words per sentence or more), the dreamers, the flirts, the show-offs, those who wear black everyday and the list just goes on.

Oh I forgot one kind. The kind who sit in the last bench, look at everyone around and furiously scribble into their notebooks only so that they can write a blog entry about it later.
No prizes for guessing which category I belong to....

catharsis

This post is called catharsis because that is what I wanted to name my bloggie. For those of you who don't know what that means, here is the dictionary meaning - A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.
But it was already taken. So I just named it lifeisbeautifulconditionsapply...rather a long name isn't it? But it is my most favorite quote or phrase ever. So I guess it is in a way perfect. Also makes lots of sense if you think about it.
My first blog kissbliss.blogspot.com is a pure poetry blog. "Pure" here means that the blog just contains poetry and nothing else. It does NOT mean that my poems are PURE. Yeah I bet some of you are snickering already. The name is quite deceiving actually. When I tell people my blog link they just assume that it is porn or something.lol..Kissbliss? Get it? I actually named it that way because I "kiss bliss" every time I write poetry. Poetry is a big part of my life.

But lately there've been times when I've just wanted to write text. And this blog is a consequence of those bouts of "writer's itch" that I've been having. I am going to write about all sorts of stuff. Not classified. Definitely not censored. I may or may not be regular. But I promise to be real. I promise to be me.