Friday, February 26, 2010

appa

Yeah I know its been long since I've blogged . I'm not sorry. I didn't promise anything. A lot has happened since I last posted. People have entered and left my life. Close ones have moved away and strangers have become soul-mates. I've made decisions, mistakes, peace and what not. I've learnt new things I never thought I could, stopped doing things I thought I always would do.But then change is the only thing that doesn't change in life, they say. And like it or not, you have to accept it.
I am writing today, because, after a long time I felt like putting my thoughts into text and not poetry. This morning, when I was taking a shower, I heard my neighbor from the first floor wake his son up. And suddenly memories of my dad waking me up rushed into my head. I remember how irritating it used to be, to hear his voice every morning. I simply am not and have never been a morning person. What used to make me cringe before, now makes me cry. I miss the care and concern not to forget the sweet scoldings. I miss the 'appa' smell. A mixture of viboothi, tulsi and something very fatherly. He used to bring me coffee, tie my shoelace, fill my water bottle and carry my bag to the auto. How I miss being pampered.I used to be his baby, we went shopping and for movies together. Funny thing is you never know that its all going to end really soon. I always thought he'd be there when I got my board exam results, when I got my first poem published in a book, when I wore my first sari, when I went to college, got my license...
All these things have happened but he wasn't there. He isn't going to be there when I graduate or on the first day of my job either. Nor will he be there when I get married or give birth.
Change is the only thing that doesn't change about life they say. And like it or not, you have to accept it.